"Marriage isn't just sex, it's conversation and laughter."

While I'm sure there are many people who may not agree with what is said in this video, I think it makes some great points. There are so many misconceptions about marriage in general. I often wonder how many people go into marriage believing it will be a fairy tale. It's what Disney movies and romantic chick flicks teach us. A damsel in distress, saved by a prince, riding off into the sunset happily ever after. I have never heard of a troubled relationship being solved by getting married. Saying your "I do"s is nothing to take lightly. Marriage and love is a commitment you make over again every single second of every single day. What happens at the alter is just one moment of your life. It's the years that follow that make a marriage.

"It's not the love that sustains the promise, it's the promise that sustains the love."

I've been really needing to get this off my chest.
I think at some point every single military wife grapples with the question, "is it worth it?".
While I try not to keep tally, it inevitably creeps in. Our two year anniversary is coming up next week. That's 24 months of martial bliss. Travis has spent one quarter of our marriage in Afghanistan. Almost three quarters of our marriage has been spent living apart, consumed by field exercises, training, and schooling. That leaves this grasping at straws feeling with me. Weeks where you try to ignore the constant coming and going, unpacking and repacking, and try to make the most out of the time you have together, which is easier said than done.
While we were at the VA marriage retreat, there was a couple there who had just finished their fourteenth deployment. Fourteen deployments in the Marine Corps is somewhere in the neighborhood of at least 100 months of just deployment time. One hundred months is over eight years. That doesn't include the many many weeks of field exercises and training to prepare for deployments. Is that worth it? Is missing countless holidays and birthdays worth it? Is being gone when you need each other most?
The yes or no answer may be in a gray area. But these are some things I do know. I know that we love each other. I know we are together purely by choice and sheer determination because it would be simpler if we weren't. I know that even with Travis gone a lot, he is worth it. I know that our marriage is a lot stronger than the people I am jealous of. When I am wishing I could just hold my husband's hand at Christmas, Thanksgiving, or during a birthday time like everybody else, I should remind myself that that moment in time is fleeting and quantity does not make up for quality.
I know we are freaking awesome together :) With Travis' next deployment speeding towards us, I should remind myself daily how lucky we both are to have each other.

On a lighter note, part of Travis' anniversary gift came in the mail today! I wish I could show you all but we still have a week to go!

This past weekend was amazing!
Travis and I went to Shelter Island in San Diego to attend a marriage retreat put on by the VA. I must admit I was a bit skeptical. You never know about the VA. But we had a wonderful weekend! The island and hotel were beautiful. The VA retreat, which was called From Warrior to Soul mate and based on the PAIRS foundation, was great. The Chaplin in charge did a wonderful job of presenting all the materials. I particularly enjoyed the wide variety of people that attended. The retreat was for veterans and their spouses. Well there were veterans of all kinds! There were couples that had been through many deployments, couples that just finished their first deployment. There was one couple who had just finished their fourteenth deployment!!! Fourteenth!! There was a nice mix of active duty, retired, medically retried, and all sorts of vets.
For anyone in the San Diego area looking for a nice weekend I would definitely recommend it. To be realistic, most military members are on a pretty tight schedule and taking a break to just enjoy time with your spouse is hard. There is always something to be doing for work. This was a wonderful opportunity to leave our house and just get away from all of our responsibilities so we could enjoy each other's company. We learned a few tools during the workshop that will in general make life easier. It was also a wonderful chance to talk to people we wouldn't normally talk to. We got to talk to all sorts of people who had been stationed all over the world, were retired or months away from retiring. You can learn so much from people who have been where you are going.
Here is the link to the VA's site about the retreat. (here).

Palm Islands hotel on Shelter Island

It was duck season! They were so cute!

View of San Diego from Shelter Island

  

Sail Boats